Thursday, July 03, 2003

IR Haven Is A Unique Blog

I have cruised around to different blogs (via Blogger and links from other blog websites) and I must say, they span the spectrum on male and female viewpoints and they vary tremendously. There are many young bloggers, many still in high school or college – which makes sense, that’s when lots of significant change and upheaval occurs in people's lives for the first time and they can actually do something about it. That’s when people start to develop a real sense of what they believe in…but IR Haven is different. It started out as a website first before it became a blog. Then September 11th happened – and the purpose of this website took on a whole new meaning to me. I guess you could say, in a way, that I felt a profound need to express what I believe in…beyond the fact that I am supportive of interracial relationships and multiracial children.

I’m reminded of an issue of the Strangers In Paradise comic book in which the lead male character was asked “You’re a Christian, right?” by the woman he cares most about. He answers “yes,” proudly. She then dumbfounds him with her next question: “If your Christian beliefs mean so much to you, why haven’t you ever shared them with me?” (For purists of the comic, I apologize for my choppy paraphrasing of the dialogue between Katchoo and David.)

I was not a sharing person before the Lord changed me; I was a deeply private person and truthfully, there were aspects of myself that frightened me – things I would never share, except with my closest friends. Deep down, I was very angry, hurt and troubled. It took going to the brink of death (via severe dehydration) to realize I wasn’t ready, spiritually, to die. I had to beg the Lord’s mercy just to keep me from dying that day -- and He was merciful. The next day, a real minister (discussion about real vs. fake ministers is another blog entry altogether) had to show me how to let the Lord clean me up from the inside. This started with a confession of faith: I acknowledged that I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God -- that He died, was buried and was raised from the dead on the third day. I surrendered my pains and the hurts I’d caused myself and others; I took responsibility for those actions. Taking that step, I was able to pray to Jesus to receive the Lord’s forgiveness and His Holy Spirit by faith. That’s when He started changing me into who I’d always wanted to be but couldn’t because the anger, hurt or dysfunction – the sin -- would always get in the way.

IR Haven could not have come into existence without this change in my life (and my wife's life). God took two people of different ethnicities (Caucasian and African-American) and caused us to develop a deep love for one another…to the point that we would withstand challenges and disbelief from friends -- and threats, condemnation plus retaliation from family. The love that survived those difficult times was almost enough for us – but not quite. Without the love of Christ in our hearts, we did not know how to have a successful relationship, despite all that we felt for each other. God had to change us in order for us to learn how to have a true love and respect for one another, forgiveness for unintended offenses, understanding and patience that we did not possess before. As a result, our interracial marriage has become sweeter and sweeter over these last eight years and we are raising two wonderful biracial boys in that atmosphere of love and respect. I won’t say there aren’t ups and downs – that’s life – but I can honestly say that there are far more ups than there are downs…and there's no willful sin in our lives. Only God could do that!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a minister and I’m not trying to give the impression that I am one. I can’t save your soul, I’m just one man in the midst of billions of people in this world. I don’t have the pretentious belief that I’m any better than anyone else. All I can do is write about my life here in this blog and hope that it means something to you, that you get something out of it. I feel compelled to be straightforward with you, not make up clever gimmicks for you to come back. I’d rather you know me than some “quiz of the day” or news headline.

I’d rather share what I believe in deeply.

If you want to write me about it, that's fine -- but I won't debate differing spiritual beliefs. I believe what I believe. That said, you can e-mail me at . And if you just want to keep reading, that's fine, too.

Thanks for your time and for reading this.

Best Wishes,