Blog for the Interrace Haven website, as told by its webmaster, Allen Steadham, a 30-something white computer geek married to a gorgeous 30-something black quasi-computer geek. They have have two young biracial sons (future computer geeks?) and have been happily married and parents since 1995. Allen created IR Haven in 1996 and has been blogging the paradise since 2003. Comments are welcomed and expected. Thanks!
I am still alive, and finding ways to enhance IR Haven still! I was looking at ways to embed mp3s directly into the blog template and I found a nifty option from Yahoo's embedded media player. I was able to easily integrate it into the template and it plays MP3s I have stored elsewhere online. Just click on the arrow button next to the song link to play the song. It will automatically play the next song, which is cool! Also, the player moves as you move, can be collapsed down or even autohide itself. So you don't have to adjust it and it's less likely to get in the way (way cool).
You can do this yourself. Just check out the instructions at this link.
I added some First Light songs to start with. I may add other MP3s later, but this was a good test!
This time around, I've had to be even more careful. When I was hospitalized a little over a year ago, I bounced back pretty easily. I had the Thanksgiving holiday to recover (in 2006) and I did pretty well.
I normally work Fridays and Saturdays. I was released on a Friday and I took the next day off as well. I asked the doctor to write a note covering me until this Monday (01-14-08). I thought that would be sufficient. I was wrong.
I went to work on Monday. I took my pain meds with me, figuring that would be enough to cover me if I got sore or anything. What was I thinking?? The first 3 or 4 hours were fine. My lunch is usually about 4 or 5 hours into my shift, which is normally no big deal. By the time my lunch came around, I was lightheaded from hunger (and I would guess exertion as well). I ate, relaxed and went back to working.
I didn't quite feel normal after lunch, though, and I didn't know why. I was a little achy and sort of distracted. Then I noticed my throat was getting a little sore and I was having some difficulty speaking; I'd have to press through some calls (I do phone tech support), drinking cold and/or hot liquids to keep my throat feeling at least passable. I know this happened because of the stress my throat went through having that oversized tube in it last Tuesday and Wednesday.
By 7:00 p.m., my left forearm started having a deep stabbing pain in it, which was shocking to me. It really hurt! So I stopped using it for a bit, massaged it and tried to get back to working again. The pain came back, worse than before. I had to not use it at all. It was annoying typing with only my right hand but it beat having the stabbing pain. My left arm was where I'd had the most IV's put in.
I decided right then that I had to take sick leave on Tuesday, and I don't work Wednesday or Thursday. That would give me more time to recover before jumping back in to work.
What I've had to realize is that it's going to take longer for me to bounce back this time. I don't like that but I've had to accept it. If I push myself, my body will push right back and it will win.
Since I was released, the comfort and care committee from our church has been providing help with suppers each night and groceries and just checking up on us daily. It's a tremendous amount of love and support that we definitely need and appreciate deeply. It takes a huge load of stress off of my wife and nothing beats a home cooked meal, made with love and personal pride.
Despite the pain and the long recovery, we are truly blessed.
Hi, this is Allen. I know it's been a while. Real life has been moving along, we've crossed into a new year and I just haven't had much to say.
I spent most of last week in the hospital, unfortunately. The doctors aren't quite sure why but the most likely explanation was some kind of stomach ailment, possibly a virus. I'll spare you some of the details but by Tuesday morning (01-08-08), I was in a lot of pain and had suffered some really terrible diarrhea, so I decided to call into work and asked my wife to drive me to the emergency room.
After a really long wait, the ER nurse got me started on intravenous (IV) fluids and put a big tube down my nose all the way to my stomach (needless to say, that was not the high point of my day). Then they checked me into a room and gave me pain medication.
I spent most of the next 24 hours sleeping, getting my vital signs taken or blood drawn. I couldn't eat or drink anything, although they did give me things to keep my mouth moistened, which helped. My wife was by my side all day and then she had to go home to take care of the kids. I could barely swallow and couldn't talk much more than a whisper because of that tube down my throat. Thankfully, I convinced them to take that out by Wednesday afternoon, which improved my outlook a whole lot. The tube had actually been causing me as much discomfort and outright pain as my stomach had.
Throughout the experience, I asked my wife to keep our pastor informed so he could pray for us. Also, the church members in charge of the sick committee were often in contact with my wife and offering what help they could. Friends wanted to visit but I was in no condition to see anyone but my wife and hospital personnel (who were used to seeing people in such a bad state). To the staff's credit, I felt very cared for by the nurses, techs and doctors.
Thursday, I went through a series of x-rays and was waiting for the results of that all day. My wife brought both the kids and my laptop to the hospital by evening. It was great to see my boys and my oldest son even drew me a get well card while he was there in the hospital room. My youngest son engaged me in in-depth questioning to let me know his concern and his optimism for me. Both were quite endearing. After they left, the doctor came in and let me know the x-rays looked good and that I could be put on regular food (I'd spent 2 days eating "clear liquid meals") by morning and probably released by the end of the day Friday. That was wonderful news! I couldn't get a wireless internet connection with my laptop but it did allow me to listen to music and watch a Star Trek New Voyages episode that I'd downloaded ("World Enough And Time" with George Takei) before going to sleep.
The next day, I had a wonderful omelet breakfast (ham, red and white onions, green bell peppers and mushrooms with some nice fluffy egg) along with fruit juice and coffee. I also took a shower (only the 2nd one I'd taken in 4 days...ew!) and shaved before my wife arrived. We met with the doctor, who cleared me for going home and going back to work as of Monday. My wife treated me to lunch at our favorite Japanese restaurant, a lovely place called Odaku. It was great to have some fresh miso soup and sushi and charbroiled teriyaki chicken and other vegetable delights. I knew I'd need to take a lot home as leftovers, I had only started eating regular food that morning and needed to take it easy until my stomach got back to its normal proportions.
Haven't Done One Of These In A While, But Hey, It's Friday (But Not A Not In The News Friday)
I just have a weakness for the fuzzy creature photos at Cute Overload. I think these are perfectly representative of the "Friday Feeling" (especially if, like me, you have to work).
Forget about the Patriot Act, legislation comes and goes. Forget about the terrorists, they don't deserve to be remembered. Forget about labels like "liberal" and "conservative", "Democrat" and "Republican". Everyone was affected by that terrible day.
Forget about conspiracy theories. They ultimately accomplish nothing. Forget about the Iraq war for now. It is important and it may be related but it is still separate from the events of that day. Forget about me and this blog's normal content. Forget about yourself and your opinions for a moment.
Remember the people of September 11, 2001: The ones who died, yes, because they had lives and potential. People of all walks of life, all ages, all races, all political persuasions, all religions. People who had spouses and children and family and friends. Some were heroes, like the firefighters and police, decorated military and civilians. Some were heroes for their parenting or volunteer work. Some were heroes just for the way they lived their lives. Everything they aspired to be was cut short that day. And they deserve to be honored for their lives, not their deaths.
So we can't forget September 11, we can't pay enough tribute. We can't give their families and friends their loved ones back. But we can take one day to explore the memories of their lives. And be grateful we still have ours and our spouses and our children. And try to make the most of these lives we still have.
We can't go back to September 10, no matter how much some of us may want to. It will never come again. We can just do our best today. And try to make a better tomorrow.
Geez, I'm sorry! I have been my usual state of busy and highly involved with our Due East webcomic but I still like to check in periodically and let everyone know how my family and I are doing.
Due East has been my artistic passion for the first half of this year, really. My wife and I co-write it and I pencil, ink and color it. It is a lot of work but it is really rewarding! The comic's main characters are a couple of multiracial sisters (Black, White and Chinese)
(Click on picture below to see it at full-size in another window)
The comic updates on Mondays and Fridays, although we will take breaks between "books" (we're on Book Three right now). I'm blessed to be able to do the artwork for this comic while on my job (I do phone tech support for a living) without it interfering with my work or irritating my coworkers or supervisors.
Also, my wife and I are still involved in First Light, a Christian band associated with our nondenominational church.
This summer, our kids have been going to a local summer camp during weekdays. They've enjoyed that. Summer camp sure is different now than when I was growing up. Now they have computers and go to the movies but they do go outside and play, go to the park, swimming, bowling and rollerskating/blading. I have to admit, even though it was kind of hard in those days to really get into archery and horseback riding and fishing, but it was still ended up being fun!
I have fond memories from childhood of going camping in groups of dads and sons from my folks' church. We'd wake up and the dads would cook sausage and eggs over a campfire at daybreak. We'd fish and hike and do all kinds of activities on the trip, including swimming in a lake, and come home hot, sweaty and exhausted -- but happy!
Because of my health issues, it makes it difficult for me to take my sons on an overnight or weekend camping trip, much as I would like to. Still, we do spend quality time together and go on drives and visit interesting places...and I do cook for them a lot, which they and I both enjoy.
Summer activities have changed but what really matters is that the boys are happy and are active, plus they still get quality time with their parents.
I finally got a chance to sit down and blog, so here I am! It's a rainy July 4th, so most outdoor plans have been rained out. (sighs)
The picture above is my name tag from my 20 year high school reunion, which Angel and I attended a few weeks ago. It's my senior year picture in black and white. I was 17 when that picture was taken.
So, it was pretty nice to see some of the people I used to know and be friends with, have conversations with some folks that wouldn't have given me the time of day in high school, and to notice and chat with some people I probably ignored because of my own tunnel vision in those days. I had long, hilarious conversations with a friend I met back in probably second grade. He lived on my street. He was with a friend from the same street who I'd grown up around but hadn't particularly been friends with. We all got along great at the reunion and almost had each other rolling on the floor with laughter. That was great!
Others I had short but meaningful conversations with, finding out what professions we're all in now, how many kids we have and how old they are. Different people brought different perspectives and we seemed to remember each other in different lights, you might say. A lot more people remembered me than I thought would and many seemed to have generally positive memories of me. One person remembered me the way I thought I came across to most people, at least in my latter years in high school: "Stay away from me!" (not the way he phrased it, but close enough)
It was more fun earlier on in the event. No one had name tags at first, so we were all trying to match the faces of the people showing up with the teens we used to know (and be). Some were already drinking beer but no one was drunk, so it was a relaxed social atmosphere. One person even mistook Angel for one of her old friends...
The only other Black person there was a waitress, so I guess I can't blame them for assuming she was one of the former classmates. My class didn't have many Black students... Angel thought it was hilarious!
One former classmate told me he read this blog before coming to the reunion, since I put a link to it on Classmates.com, where I have a profile. We discussed one of the blog entries I did about the coming reunion as well as my work in ISAA. His wife was nice and had some funny stories to tell us.
There was a very good fajita dinner at the restaurant/pub where the event was held. I think everyone enjoyed that.
Some people did seem to only gravitate towards their old high school buds and no one else. That was predictable but annoyingly shallow to watch, since the point of the reunion was to see everyone. But some people have agendas now, just like they did then. I only had one friend who fell into that category, which genuinely surprised me, but I was otherwise enjoying myself so I didn't let it get to me.
Another former classmate humbled me. After learning I had two kids, he asked me for fatherly advice. He'd just gotten the good news he's going to be a first time dad later this year. I guess he's excited and felt a former classmate would be a trustworthy source-? I don't know...but I offered him suggestions that I thought would help him and his wife. Another classmate chimed in with additional good advice then kindly directed him back to actually pay attention to his wife (always a good idea when she's pregnant).
As the night went on, people got more drunk and harder to talk to, so Angel and I left. I felt I had accomplished what I went there to do. I was satisfied.
One week and counting till my 20 year high school reunion. The anticipation is indeed building and I am looking forward to it! Everything is paid for so all we (me and Angel) have to do is show up.
140 people have said they'll attend. I don't know if 140 will actually show up but at least it should be a good turn out.
Some of my classmates have posted photos of themselves and their spouses on the evite.com site. It's going to be very unique to see them again. Some are already graying. Most of my classmates have kids and at least one of my classmates is a new grandmother already but I don't think she's attending.
It truly is strange to contemplate that it's been 20 years since I graduated. Remembering those times is such a distant memory. I can remember how I felt at my graduation...the New York City trip I took my senior year with my Journalism teacher. Most of rest of high school itself is an effort to remember, a blur I've probably spent more than a small effort to forget. But, for better or worse, it is a part of my history. I can't just completely ignore it since it did shape me into who I would eventually become today.
I know I wasn't very social in high school. There are a few friends that I have been able to reconnect with since then and we've become fairly close and respect each other. I think that's because we actually talked to each other (or in some cases, emailed) and got to know one another again (or in some cases, for the first time). That's just wasn't too easy in high school. A lot of that was because of the clique-ish-ness of high school. I despised the cliques and wanted nothing to do with them -- which, ironically, automatically made me part of the clique that despised cliques. (It can make your brain hurt...)
I guess the main point I'm making is that we all got past that, to one degree or another, and have moved on with our lives. Now some of us are coming back together to learn about each other and be nostalgic for a weekend.
I will be very honest, my motivations have been on other creative interests recently. I love the IR Haven blog and I'm still behind everything that it stands for 150%.
In the last few months, however, while I've had a blast thinking up NITNF topics every week, it's also been the primary reason I've been posting to IR Haven at all. Sure, there have been other things I've posted about, mostly "real life" things, but they've been few and far between.
Recently, for Mother's Day, I was motivated to sing lead on a song, Brian Littrell's "You Keep Givin' Me." (video of Littrell's live performance below). That was a wonderful experience and I hope to keep singing lead. It brings out a different side of me, a different creativity I had almost forgotten (since I haven't sung lead in over 10 years). I never stopped performing on electric bass guitar and even started singing backing vocals with First Light, but lead is a different level. It's very scary but equally rewarding.
The other area of creativity I am actively involved in is drawing comics. I started drawing superhero comics when I was 10. I ended up creating a superhero team I called the AR-MEN (don't ask me what the "AR" stands for, I've had no idea for 28 years, it just worked). I built lives and careers and families for the characters and it became almost a generational superhero team.
It was always therapeutic. I started drawing mainly because I couldn't do sports well. I had terrible depth perception because of my nearsightedness and glasses really didn't compensate. And kids being kids, back then it was still cool to pick on kids for having glasses. I dealt with rejection like any kid, I avoided it like the plague and went and did something else: draw.
It became a ritual to go into a room and draw for hours. I'd listen to music and just pour my ideas onto paper with pencil. Never pen, never colors. When I had my major surgeries as a pre-teen, my art kept me sane in the hospital and at home recovering.
In fact, the intensity of what I was going through made for my writing change, it deepened my stories. Characters started going through some serious situations, not just "It's Captain X and his evil hordes attacking, prep the megaship for battle!" No, a teenage lead character had to deal with entrapment through pregnancy by an evil teen female. Did I mention I was 12 when I had the surgeries? And no, I was not seeing/dating anyone at that young of an age, I just had an overactive imagination.
The combination of drawing art and writing story were always releases for my emotions and my stress. I'm convinced the comics kept me stable in high school, because I was a real mess (hmmm, what teenager isn't at one point or another?) for so many reasons (most of which I can't go into, there just isn't room on the blog). I was even drawing the AR-MEN when I went to college and when I met and became friends with Angel. Angel inspired me to write an AR-MEN story about racism. I can truly say it was one of my best single issue stories and it took my writing style to another new level.
When I became a Christian in 1996, I tried to keep writing the AR-MEN comics but have one of the characters become a Christian and see where things went from there. It really didn't work. I felt that I did a good job with the Christian character but continuing to write superhero comics was problematic. Unless you want the most boring, overintellectualized superhero comics in the universe, you must have fighting in superhero stories. I decided that I needed to end the AR-MEN stories...and I did.
But just because you stop writing the stories, it doesn't mean the stories or the desire to creatively express goes away. An artist is always an artist, whether they like it or not. I had a breakthrough idea: As a Christian, I wanted to offer up my talents to the Lord and see what He would bless me with. And I didn't want to do it alone. I asked Angel if she would help me write a brand new non-superhero story that would somehow be Christian. I wanted us to write and create as a team.
We prayed together and we asked the Lord to bless us with the characters and the story and the ability to put it all together in a way that it would appeal to the average person, not just Christians, while still remaining strong in His message.
We had to wait a few years for everything to come together but it was so worth the wait! The first thing that developed was a really rough idea of the story premise and an idea for a short dream sequence. We also created a small list of main characters, a mixed-race family that went through a bitter separation and divorce.
The characters are: a Asian/Caucasian man, an African-American woman and their two daughters as well as one of the daughter's best friends, who happens to be a real Christian. The parents stay in touch to keep up with their children's lives and over six years, the parents' bitterness lessens and to their surprise, they fall in love again. So now the family has to try and undo the damage caused by six years of divorce and estrangement (the father and daughter moved away to Canada as part of a relocation by the father's job).
The next logical question for us as writers was "What part does the Christian friend play in all this and what will make this a Christian comic?" We had to wait for that answer, too. But what an answer we ended up getting!
The comic officially made it's debut in 2003 and we have been working hard at it ever since. It began as a comic strip, although probably more like Sunday comics size than the traditional 3 to 5 panel "gag at the end" strip you see in the daily newspapers. The first 38 strips comprised the initial story, what we ended up calling "Book One." That took the longest, almost four years. I got inspired to go ahead and go back to full-page comic book style instead of comic strip style. Book Two took 4 months to write and draw and is 22 pages. We're now working on Book Three.
Here are the characters:
We initially hosted it on Comic Genesis but I also recently mirrored it on Drunk Duck (DD for short, and don't let the name fool you, it's a neat community!). Both webhosts are free. I have been more impressed with DD because it has a great commenting and rating system and a good user interface for organizing your site plus an active and healthy forum area that encourages community communication. So I will give the link to our comic on DD, Due East starting at the very first strip. Click on the graphic below to start reading the comic (opens another browser window or tab)!
We put up a webpage for detailed backgrounds on the characters here and more detail on the background story here.
In conclusion, I just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgottenIR Haven, I've just been in another creative vein right now. I will have inspiration for IR Haven, too, but I'm waiting on it. I don't want to put just anything online, I want to give my best!
