Not In The News Friday (NITNF)

NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

This week we will look into New Demographic and FUSION.

New Demographic



Our names are Carmen Van Kerckhove and Jen Chau, and we co-founded New Demographic, an anti-racism training firm. Our goal is to mobilize people through a variety of media and in-person workshops to work towards an anti-racist future.

You can learn more about the workshops we offer here. You can read testimonials from past clients and watch a demo video with clips from past workshops.

We also produce a weekly podcast called Addicted to Race and edit Mixed Media Watch, a blog about the intersection of race and pop culture.

Our Beliefs

• We go beyond uncritical celebrations of diversity and multiculturalism and confront head-on the complex issues surrounding race and racism today.


• In challenging racism, we go beyond individual acts of prejudice and recognize that racist ideals are disseminated by the very structures and systems upon which this country is built.


• We go beyond the concerns of the specific community to which we belong and recognize that when one group is discriminated against, it is an affront to us all.


• When discussing racism, we go beyond simply blaming “The Man” and recognize that racism persists through an intricate web of intergroup and intragroup oppression and privilege.


• We go beyond "diversity speak" and academic jargon and recognize that using direct, down-to-earth lanaguage is the best way to engage people in anti-racism work.


• We go beyond acceptance of finite racial categories and recognize that race has no biological basis, but that the social construct of race impacts us all.

09.19.06 Update: With permission, here is a video where Jen and Carmen further explain their beliefs.



Source: New Demographic


FUSION



The FUSION Program for Mixed Heritage Youth seeks to support multiracial, multiethnic, and/or transracially adoptive youth and their families.

VISION

We envision a cohesive multicultural society based on acceptance, inclusion, and respect of human diversity.

MISSION

Our mission is to foster positive identity formation and empowerment in children of mixed heritage. To meet this aim, the Fusion Program facilitates the exploration of personal identity and community in a safe and nurturing environment and through community outreach.

GOALS

1. To empower youth of mixed heritage in the development of identity and human potential.


2. To create a language to discuss mixed heritage and to foster regard and appreciation for the diversity within the mixed heritage community.


3. To establish a safe space for exploring the complexity of the mixed heritage experience.


4. To develop awareness and consciousness of the issues facing mixed heritage individuals.


5. To encourage solidarity and empowerment in the mixed heritage community.

VALUES

• Meaningful learning: We seek to provide an interactive and creative learning experience that fosters individual self-awareness and self-discovery.


• Safe environment: We are committed to providing a nurturing environment that promotes self-esteem and confidence.


• Community: We recognize that community is a source of connectedness and inclusive relationships for families and youth.


• Respect: We believe in the inherent dignity and worth of all individuals.


• Diversity: We strive to serve the diverse population of mixed heritage families in the Bay Area. These families include children who are multiracial, biracial, ethnically-mixed minorities, and/or transracially adopted.


• Collaboration: We form partnerships with other organizations and agencies to provide a learning experience based on excellence and quality.

Source: FUSION Program for Mixed Heritage Youth

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

This week we will look into the lives of the Maori people of New Zealand.

The people of New Zealand have a long tradition of ethnic intermarriage and as participants in this trend Maori have a unique population that has undergone enormous demographic and social change. Maori have and continue to experience high rates of intermarriage, this along with adaptation to other social phenomenon has caused the measurement of ethnic identity to grow increasingly complex. The Maori ethnic group, rather than being homogenous, consists of many individuals from varying backgrounds who have varying cultural values, norms and identities but nevertheless at some degree choose to identify as being Maori. There has been widespread public interest and growing political debate surrounding the questions "Who is Maori?" and "How do we accurately define Maori?" (Kukutai 2001, Pool 2001, Pool 1963).

It is interesting to note that much of the current debate regarding what 'a real' Maori is has occurred outside Maori circles. In part, this has arisen because of the relationship between the concepts of ethnicity and ancestry, along with the demise of the discredited concept of race which carried with it an assumption that somehow "Maoriness" was either genetically or socially imprinted at birth and was immutable. Maori themselves have traditionally defined 'Maoriness' using a different paradigm to the majority of the western world. For Maori, in formal settings, Maori is defined in terms of whakapapa or genealogy. When children are born with whakapapa or links to other Maori they are termed 'mokopuna of the iwi.' They are Maori. However, there is a dislocation between how Maori as a group articulate this and how individuals of Maori ethnicity and/or Maori ancestry articulate it or see themselves and reflect this in statistical collections.

Moreover, traditionally Maori have not defined themselves by the extent or amount of Maori they are. Historical constructs and measurements such as half castes, quarter castes and similar race-based 'blood' measurements have been imposed as attempts to quantify and count the Maori population for various purposes by the governing institutions of the day and these constructs were reflected in contemporary official commentary. Maori have traditionally defined their population in a more holistic and non-exclusive manner, individuals with mixed Maori background regardless of their ethnic heritage are considered Maori. The parts of their heritage which could be English, Chinese or Samoan are never denied or ignored but in Maori terms they are simply considered 'mokopuna' because it is impossible to have only a 'part grandchild'. In the Maori world whakapapa is not divisible because mokopuna cannot be divided up into discrete parts. (Jackson 2003). Similarly, the parts of the heritage which are English, Chinese or Samoan, equally allow them to be considered English, Chinese, or Samoan. This view is completely consistent with the current definition of ethnic groups whereby people are counted in each ethnic group with which they identify.

Source: Ethnic intermarriage and ethnic transference amongst the Maori population: implications for the measurement and definition of ethnicity

What A Difference 15 Years Makes...



I accidentally unearthed this photo while transferring content from one storage box to another this week. This was me on stage at a music event in Dallas in October 1991. The rock and blues band was called The Killer Tomatahs.

I was such a different person then. I was 22, single, free to travel with the band while I lived at home. I was never a cigarette smoker but I played in smoke-filled rooms every week (and nowadays, I can't be anywhere near cigarette smoke or I start coughing profusely). I drank occasionally and smoked pot regularly. We did eventually get enough sense to decide as a group that we needed to perform sober. That was quite an accomplishment for us!

I will admit, this was a time in my life that was creatively and professionally productive for me. I had a lot to prove to myself as a musician. I was the youngest member of a 4- to 6-member band. The majority of my bandmates were near or over 40. But I held my own and made the transition from a rhythm bass player to a lead bass player. I also had my first experience learning to sing backup vocals while playing bass, which I'd never done before.



Skip ahead 15 years. I'm still playing music but with a Christian band with people of different ages and races. I am a Christian now. I don't drink, don't smoke, I'm married, have two kids and a steady job. It's a world of difference, I am happier and I have purpose in my life.

Today's my birthday. I don't mind saying I'm 37 years old. Today is also my wife's birthday. She's five years younger than me. The first time we met, we learned we had the same birthday. It's worth noting that our kids' birthdays are two days apart (they're 10 and 7 years old). We have an interesting little family.

I know that all of our experiences define who we are and shape us for the future. We have highs and we have lows, we have triumphs and we have tragedies. We make mistakes and (hopefully) we learn from them. It's all about growing into who we are and who we're meant to be.

I thank God that I am who I am. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

This week we will look into the lives of the actors who play an interracial married couple on tv and in a movie: Gina Torres and Alan Tudyk, also known as Zoe and Wash from the short-lived series Firefly and the movie based on the series, Serenity.

First, Gina Torres...

Torres was born at Flower Fifth Avnue Hopital in Manhattan, NY, the youngest of three children in a Afro-Cuban-American family. Her family lived briefly in Washington Heights, but later moved to The Bronx. Her parents were both natives of Cuba and her father worked as a typesetter for "La Prensa" and "The Daily News". Gina began singing at an early age, immersed in the Latin culture of her parents and her neighborhood. She attended high school at the High School of Music and Art. She applied to and was accepted to several colleges, but could not afford to attend([1]).

Torres is a gifted mezzo soprano who began her performing career as a singer, attending New York City's High School of Music and Art. Torres also trained in opera and jazz, and she performed in a gospel choir.

Torres is best known for her roles in science-fiction and fantasy. She has appeared in many television series, including Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (as Nebula), Xena: Warrior Princess (as Cleopatra), the short-lived Cleopatra 2525, as well as Alias (as Anna Espinosa), Firefly (as series regular Zoë Washburne), Angel (as Jasmine), and The Shield. She portrayed Julia Milliken in several episodes of the third season of 24.

In 2001 she won the ALMA Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Syndicated Drama Series for her role in Cleopatra 2525. In 2004, she was nominated for the International Press Academy's Golden Satellite Award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Drama, for her role as Jasmine in Angel.

Her film appearances include The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions.

She reprised her Firefly role as Zoë in the film Serenity (2005).

Also in 2005, she voiced the character of Vixen in numerous episodes of the animated series Justice League Unlimited.

She met Laurence Fishburne while filming The Matrix Revolutions. Torres and Fishburne were engaged in February 2001 and married in September 2002 at The Cloisters museum in New York City.

Source: Wikipedia: Gina Torres

Next, Alan Tudyk:

Alan Tudyk grew up in Plano, Texas. After high school, Alan attended Lon Morris Junior College from 1990-1991, where he studied drama. While there, he was an active member of Delta Psi Omega. In 1991, he was awarded the Academic Excellence award for Drama, as well as Most Likely to Succeed and Sophomore Beaus. In 1993, he continued his studies at Juilliard until 1996, when he left before earning a degree.

Alan's most prized possession was a 1964 Mustang, which he named "Old Sock."

Threw a "We Don't Work for FOX Anymore" party for the cast and crew of the short lived TV series "Firefly" upon hearing of its being cancelled.

Portrayed the robot "Sonny" in the 2004 movie I, Robot.

Source: IMDB.com: Alan Tudyk

Not In The News Friday (Late Edition: the Sequel)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

Sorry things are a day late but I had something to deal with at the apartment yesterday involving accidental flooding. All is dealt with now and okay again.

This week, we feature Star Trek's Nichelle Nichols.

In her role as Lt. Uhura, she participated in the first interracial kiss on U.S. television, with Canadian actor William Shatner (as Captain James T. Kirk) in the 1968 Star Trek episode "Plato's Stepchildren." The scene provoked protest and was seen as groundbreaking, even though the kiss was portrayed as having been forced by alien mind control. The episode was not telecast in some Southern cities as a result of the protests in those states; nevertheless, it caused many viewers to contact the broadcaster and the majority of the feedback of the incident was positive. It was over twenty-five years before it was broadcast on British television.



After the cancellation of Star Trek, Nichols volunteered her time in a special project with NASA to recruit minority and female personnel for the space agency, which proved to be a spectacular success. They include Dr. Sally K. Ride, the first American female astronaut and United States Air Force Col. Guion Bluford, the first African-American astronaut, as well as Dr. Judith Resnik and Dr. Ronald McNair, who both flew successful missions during the space shuttle program before their deaths in the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster on January 28, 1986.

An enthusiastic advocate of space exploration, Nichols has served since the mid-1980s on the Board of Governors of the National Space Society, a nonprofit, educational space advocacy organization founded by Dr. Wernher von Braun.

Always interested in space travel, Nichelle flew aboard NASA's C-141 Astronomy Observatory, which analyzed the atmospheres of Mars and Saturn on an eight hour, high-altitude mission. She was also a special guest at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California on July 17, 1976 to view the Viking 1 soft landing on Mars. Along with the other cast members from the original Star Trek series, Nichelle attended the christening of the first space shuttle, Enterprise, at the North American Rockwell assembly facility in Palmdale, California.

In 1994, she published her autobiography Beyond Uhura: Star Trek and Other Memories. In it she states that she had a lengthy love affair with Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry.

Source: Wikipedia: Nichelle Nichols

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)





NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

She's one-half of a fictional interracial couple who got married in the movie "Napolean Dynamite." This week's topic: Shondrella Avery (LaFawnduh)

Avery is married, to a Nigerian-born banker named Adenrele, whom she met at a restaurant in Beverly Hills. "I saw him from across the room and I said to my friends, 'That right there is the man I'm going to marry,'" she said with a laugh. "They thought I was crazy. But I walked up to him, introduced myself, asked him out on a date, and before long we were making plans to tie the knot."

Today, the couple live in Los Angeles and enjoy many mutual interests, including skydiving, going to the movies, tending to a koi pond and home decorating. It was Adenrele who introduced Shondrella to art and objects from other countries (especially his native Nigeria, and Mexico). Shondrella, by contrast, grew up in a rough and tumble section of south central Los Angeles.

But that's not to suggest she had a shielded or deficient upbringing. Avery has nine siblings (the youngest is 9) and her mom has been a foster parent to nearly 200 other children, many of them crack babies and the products of abused or neglected families. Shondrella witnessed much of the human condition, if not the world, on her way to adulthood. She is rich in ways money can't buy.

Source: Shondrella Avery Collects Objects From Africa and Mexico

She has created a one-woman show titled "Ain't I Enough," based on her experiences growing up with her enormous family, which has aired on HBO.

Source: Wikipedia: Shondrella Avery

Why You Should Meebo Me


I recently became a fan of the Meebo instant messaging service. It's very much like Trillian, that allows you to simultaneously connect to multiple IM services, such as AIM, Yahoo, MSN Messenger and ICQ...but it's all through a webpage interface instead of separate software.

Meebo recently introduced a new widget, called Meebo Me. Meebo Me is an IM interface that can be inserted into blogs or webpages. If the webmaster or blogmaster is logged into Meebo, he/she can see how many people are on their page and have live chat capability with their site's guests. I thought that was pretty nifty-sounding, so I added it to IR Haven.

If you need some more info on using Meebo Me, here is a good article.

So, you'll see if I'm online and you can send me a chat! I'd love to hear from you. Let me know what you think of this new feature!

Best Wishes,
Allen

Mixedrace.com: My Opinion



Have you ever noticed that sometimes you really want something to measure up to your expectations -- and it doesn't? Mixedrace.com is a great idea, it's long overdue -- a web portal dedicated to mixed race couples, individuals and ideas. Unfortunately, after some initial consideration, I decided I didn't have a good experience there.

It reminds me of what I blogged about concerning Asian Avenue in June. As I said for AA, this will probably be very nice for some people and I personally have no animosity against the makers of mixedrace.com. I'm sure they've put a lot of hard work and effort and thought into the site.

But it's essentially very much still in beta and lacking any moderation whatsoever. As a result, there are a lot of offensive usernames, profiles and content. Not racist stuff, per se, but it could turn off a lot of potential users of the site.

Oh, and the use of the N word (pretty much entirely by African Americans) abounds, completely unfettered by moderation. Some people would probably be delighted by the "freedom of speech." Again, maybe in the proper context of defined sections ("Urban Expressions," for instance), it might work. People would be properly warned and have some idea what they're facing. As it is, you get what you get and that's that.

Another element that could deter users: popups. Who uses popup advertising anymore? There are much better alternatives out there that are site friendly.

I like the built-in weblog feature but it also kind of demands the user know a bit about HTML and site design, which the average internet user doesn't -- and shouldn't be required to know. This was a downside to AA, too.

The articles and bulletin board features were probably the most interesting aspect to the site. It also has a "Hot Or Not" for community members who were vain (or foolish) enough to submit their actual photo. There's lots of dating stuff woven in, too.

Another sign of beta-dom: don't open a web portal if you haven't enabled or finished all the sections, including the HELP section. People usually don't wait around for sites that are "still under construction."

I wanted to like this site, I really did. And in all fairness, in a year's time, it may be significantly improved (most sites do get better over time). Time will tell.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

This interracial marriage doesn't come up in the news too often but they do make a cute couple. This week's topic: David Bowie and Iman (pictured with biracial daughter, Alexandria Zahra Jones).

Here's an interesting excerpt from this interview in June 2003:

Before Reality, Bowie had put out "Heathen" (2002), a record that reflected a spiritual crisis brought on by the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Bowie, his wife-- the model Iman--and their daughter, Alexandria, who was born in 2000, live less than a mile from Ground Zero. He spoke movingly about the impact of that day and its aftermath.

"Of course, it had one foot astride that awful event in September. So that was quite a traumatic album to finish. This one hints at that, but it's not really trying to resolve any trauma. [September 11] did affect me and my family very much. We live down here."

Were you here on September 11?
"My wife and child were. I was up in Woodstock making the album. It was just unbearable that day--well, actually the next two or three days, coming back down and coming up against the cordon around that part of town. I had to get my wife to come to the barricades with a passport, so I could show the guy that I lived there. He said, 'I'm sorry, I know who you are, but I have to see...,' and all that. It was really weird. And that fine silt dust everywhere."

I never had seen New York so off its axis. What do you feel has been the aftermath?
"I think there's a new awareness in New York about our isolationist stance in the rest of the world. There is a realization that even though this is one of the most important cities in the world, others are watching us. I don't think we ever felt that before. There's a slight unease. We really felt freewheeling and that 'tomorrow belongs to us,' anything can happen. Now, there's not quite that swaying surge of hopefulness.

"I still love this town. I can't imagine living anywhere else. We've been here now, my wife and I, for 10 years. I realized the other day that I've lived in New York longer than I've lived anywhere else. It's amazing: I am a New Yorker. It's strange; I never thought I would be."

You always seemed rootless, a citizen of the world.
"I kind of thought I was. But, frankly, that changed when I met Iman. We got nesting!"

No Other Gods...



I recently mentioned Loving Day (in NITNF) and how interracial marriage in the United states used to not only be frowned upon but actually was illegal until 1967. Over the years, perhaps even centuries, certain religious elements/people used to use the Bible to support their arguments to discourage or condemn interracial marriage. Often, those people will say God directed the Hebrews not to intermarry with "the heathen" tribes from outside the land of Egypt and that this means God didn't want the races mixing.

This, of course, is ridiculous....but people believe it, wholeheartedly.

Like any debate, though, the best way to resolve a dispute is to look at the original source and the facts. In this case, the original source is the Bible.

When God made the Ten Commandments, He warned Moses what would happen if the Hebrews did not do as He commanded: they would intermarry AND start worshipping the gods of those tribes and peoples. God didn't hate the ethnicity of those people -- He made those people! And as I blogged before, Moses was interracially married to an Ethiopian woman and God highly honored Moses' marriage.

I know some people still use the Bible to justify their prejudice and ignorance but the Bible itself does not condemn or discourage interracial marriage; in fact, it supports it! So, remember that if/when someone throws that package of baloney at you.

Here's the actual Biblical reference:

Exodus Chapter 34, 10 - 16 (King James Version)

And he said, Behold, I make a covenant: before all thy people I will do marvels, such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation: and all the people among which thou art shall see the work of the LORD: for it is a terrible thing that I will do with thee.

Observe thou that which I command thee this day: behold, I drive out before thee the Amorite, and the Canaanite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, and the Hivite, and the Jebusite.

Take heed to thyself, lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land whither thou goest, lest it be for a snare in the midst of thee:

But ye shall destroy their altars, break their images, and cut down their groves:

For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:

Lest thou make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they go a whoring after their gods, and do sacrifice unto their gods, and one call thee, and thou eat of his sacrifice;

And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods.

Best Wishes,
Allen

What Is This??



Okay, first of all, this has nothing to do with IR topics; it's a mild vent.

I like to blog surf to help generate traffic for IR Haven and occasionally, I see some weird sites...but then I run across this:

Many have expressed a degree of frustration that some quarters of the 9/11 truth movement are not as bold in their stance when drawing conclusions about 9/11 evidence as is necessary to make an impact. The American Scholars Symposium was crystal clear in its summation that 9/11 represents an inside job carried out by criminal elements within the US government. The deliberate implosion of the twin towers and Building 7 allied with the reversal of routine air defense procedures leave no other explanation than the fact that the attack was a self-inflicted wound.

The only problem with that theory is the two hijacked planes that hit the two tower buildings (and the hijacked plane that hit the Pentagon and the hijacked plane that went down in Pennsylvania) which was seen by millions of people -- many of them live over television news channels as the explosions happened!

The massive heat from the explosions and the still-burning jet fuel melted the support infrastructure of the buildings, causing their collapse. I had that explained to me by engineers as events were unfolding that day as we watched in horror.

Do people have no shame in their "blame America/blame the U.S. Government" paranoia?

Don't answer that. I already know...

08-03-06 Update: I went back to the site (after its webmaster posted a very civil comment) and after a little digging, found a 40-minute long 911 conspiracy interview with Charlie Sheen conducted by none other than Alex Jones!

Rock-solid.

Is that a helicopter I hear?

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF) - Late Edition (TM)

NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

Apologies for not posting yesterday but, what can I say, it slipped my mind (the horror! the horror!). This week's topic: Loving Day!

(Hat tip to Zen for pointing me to the website)

From the Loving Day website:

What is Loving Day?

On June 12th, 1967, interracial couples became legal thanks to the Supreme Court decision entitled Loving v. Virginia. Before that date, states had the right to separate and punish interracial couples. These punishments included imprisonment of up to ten years. Violations included marriage, sex, and living together. This issue is a part of the civil rights movement that is too often forgotten. On June 12th of every year, celebrate your legal right to love a person of any race.

Their website has some very interesting links and resources and even a section to share your IR stories. I think it's great that someone thought to set aside a day to recognize and celebrate the significance of the legalization of interracial marriages and relationships. You can plan your own celebration or join in on someone else's (events listed on the website). It also has the "legal map" from 1662 to 1967, showing each state as it legalized interracial marriages. Very cool! Check it out.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Exploring What Makes One Interracially Motivated


Picture from Melting Pot Gifts

In the process of moving, you inevitably end up taking a trip down memory lane. It either happens while you're boxing stuff up or when you're unboxing things at your new place.

It happened to me yesterday. At first, it was kind of tough because I found the newspaper clipping of my dad's obituary from May 1997. That was rougher than I expected it to be. But as I began transferring papers from a nearly unuseable box into a new box, I ran across old letters I sent Angel when she was in college and in the Army. And while I will not disclose any of the contents of those most personal letters, I will say that it taught me some things about our relationship and about myself.

I sometimes wonder why my first love happened to be a black woman. Why did things just click so perfectly (at first, at least)? And did this affect me in other dating choices at that time? In retrospect, I believe that it did, but that did not keep me from dating women of many races, including asian, hispanic, black and white.

But one thing was certain: I treated every woman the same, regardless of race. I was looking for Ms. Right. I wanted someone to love who would also love me. My heart's desire always was to get married and have children, so I wanted someone who shared those goals. I went through some odd and painful experiences looking for her. My first love did not want marriage or kids (and sadly, that was just the beginning of the problems with that relationship). Several women didn't seem to know what they wanted (I guess that's pretty normal). Others knew what they wanted and didn't choose to clue me in. Such is the nature of dating...

Then I met Angel. We were friends before we started dating. But before we could start dating, I had to realize that I loved her. And I did (and do) love her. I knew she was beautiful the first time I met her but I fell in love with her for her personality, intelligence, sensitivity and boldness. We also had a great deal of fun together!

For example, early in our relationship, she planned to surprise me by borrowing a camcorder and taping our whole Saturday together. I had already planned to take us to the Bastrop State Park and some other places. We ended up watching the sunset on Mount Bonnell, one of Austin's great romantic nature spots (we also stopped at many places before then, too). We could be spontaneous like that and we both enjoyed it.

So, being very upfront, my attraction to black women was a factor in why Angel and I had some of our initial chemistry and why I find her physically attractive. But what's kept us together is a combination of that chemistry along with our personalities, our striving to make it as a couple and the desire for our relationship to grow and mature...and it has! Race had nothing to do with the latter factors.

I'm incredibly proud of our biracial children. They are everything I ever wanted and so much more. Sure, they will try to get away with some things and have a little attitude sometimes, but that's just part of growing up. We're firm with them but we always try to show them that we love them...and they always show us that they love us, too.

I look at them and I see the perfect blending of the black and white "races" and from that, I see that race is literally what you make it. I also see that the combination makes them genetically and culturally stronger than each race by itself. It gives them more options and more of a future.

I've been with this woman for 14 years, married for 11 of them. I will always be learning what it means to love her and I hope to continue to learn her, understand her and find new ways to be there for her. That's what she's done for me. Her race does not determine whether I love her or not. It's part of who she is and I love all of who she is. But human beings are more than their race.

I wish some people could learn that.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Our Newest Tenant: Winsome Gunning Art Walk

Please visit this week's tenant and see the lovely artwork and blogging at Winsome Gunning Art Walk. I enjoy the colors and feel and the sentiments in The Artist's work. I hope you do, too.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Youthfest 2006


Picture of 2003 Youthfest

Last weekend was full and fun and exhausting...but worth it. Our church sponsored the 2006 Youthfest in Austin, Texas, a two-day event with live music, good food, skits, guest speakers and the preaching of the Gospel. Over the course of the six hour event on Saturday and four hour event on Sunday, hundreds of youth and their parents, of all nationalities, attended.

The Mayor Pro-Tem, a City Council member and others gave encouraging speeches to the youth. There were also activities for the youth, including face painting and some fun mascots (two church sisters dressed up as a star and as a candle -- very cute). There were also vendors like The River 102.3 FM and the local community college and at least half a dozen others.

It made the local tv news and got some photos in the local newspaper and its website. But most importantly, by the end of the event, 8 people gave their lives to Jesus Christ!

First Light performed 2 songs on both days to enthusiastic response, which was wonderful. You can hear the two songs we performed on the First Light My Space site (link above), "You Were There" and "Hold On" (both recorded at the 2003 Youthfest (pictured above).

There are a couple of unique things I'd like to mention about the event. The first was that this was an event by a church made up of many interracial couples. That's just the way our nondenominational church is, welcoming of and loving all nations. Secondly, every musical group has bilingual songs that include Spanish.

One of the best moments of the event for me was during one of the songs on Sunday by our church's Youth Choir. A young married couple sang a duet that was backed up by the choir. They sang the first verse and chorus in English and it was well-received. And then they broke into a Spanish version of the first verse and chorus and got enthusiastic clapping from Hispanic (obviously Spanish-speaking) attendees in the audience. And then the whole choir sang in Spanish supporting the lead singer -- and you could just tell, there was such appreciation for what was being said. The song is called "And They'll Know We Are Christians By Our Love."

The church set up a projection system that acted like a big screen tv so people in the back could see what was happening on stage. And we had several cameramen from different angles recording the whole event. And I think it was recorded for CD, too (hopefully).

It was a lot of work and we're still tired and sore, especially after all the moving (which is now 100% complete)...but as I said at the beginning, it was all worth it. We did Youthfest in 2003 and 2004, now in 2006 and we hope to have another one next year.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF): Deep Edition (TM)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun...or at least fascinating.

The first few NITNFs have been kind of light and fluffy, so I wanted to cover a topic with a bit more substance this week: the interracial marriage of Moses and Zipporah!

Unlike the not quite apparent difference in skin tones in the animated movie "The Prince of Egypt," the Bible makes it very clear that Moses' wife was Ethiopian while Moses was a Hebrew. Not only that but his interracial marriage with Zipporah actually caused family tensions with his sister, Miriam and even Aaron. This displeased God so much that He punished Miriam. Moses had to plead for mercy for her and even then, God still wanted to make an example that her bigotry displeased Him.

My take: God was no respecter of persons then and He is no respecter of persons now. God loves all nations and He hates racism and bigotry. Take that how you will concerning the events that are in the news today.

The whole account is in Chapter 12 of Numbers in the Old Testament. I realize that not all people agree on the Bible but it's fascinating reading.

Numbers 12: 1 -16 (King James Version)

And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.

And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard it.

(Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth.)

And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out.

And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood in the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.

And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, I the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, and will speak unto him in a dream.

My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house.

With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?

And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed.

And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam became leprous, white as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, she was leprous.

And Aaron said unto Moses, Alas, my lord, I beseech thee, lay not the sin upon us, wherein we have done foolishly, and wherein we have sinned.

Let her not be as one dead, of whom the flesh is half consumed when he cometh out of his mother's womb.

And Moses cried unto the LORD, saying, Heal her now, O God, I beseech thee.

And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again.

And Miriam was shut out from the camp seven days: and the people journeyed not till Miriam was brought in again.

And afterward the people removed from Hazeroth, and pitched in the wilderness of Paran.

New Logos?


Since I was getting tired of text and haven't had time to re-upload the original logos to IR Haven, I went ahead and made some new ones online. What do you think? Do you like these or did you prefer the old ones more? Let me know!

Move update: The duplex is almost entirely cleaned out now, btw. I had no idea we had so much junk in the garage! Amazing...

Logo update, later in the day: After looking at the original logos again, I decided they were better. I uploaded them to Photobucket and linked them back here. So, although change is good, in this case, I think it's better not to mess with a "classic" look (at least till I come up with something better).

I put the "alternative versions" in thumbnail format with this post (click each thumbnail for the full-size version) for everyone to see (and...enjoy?)

P.S. - I finally got the background image uploaded to PB -- woohoo!

Best Wishes,
Allen

Winner of the World's Worst Unintentional Site Makeover!



Yes, for a few days, IR Haven had "Image Not Available" wallpaper and numerous "Image Not Available" images, including the email link. Don't you love the cute little red stop sign X? It's so pretty...not!

No, IR Haven was NOT hacked.

I found out the hard way that Blog Explosion's image hosting has a 250 MB monthly bandwidth limit and that limit is very easy to reach. When that happens, your images no longer show; instead, you get the big red stop sign.

So I switched to Photo Bucket. They have a 10GB monthly limit on bandwidth.

By comparison, 250MB x 4 = 1 GB so Photo Bucket gives you 40 times as much bandwidth.

I will need to add the background image and some other images later today, but at least I was able to re-makeover the site in the meantime...lest some of you go blind (which would be really bad; I would feel awful)!

By the way, we're about 99% moved now.

Best Wishes,
Allen

When Exercise Attacks!



So I've been taking a new bus route to get to work since the move. On weekdays, I take 3 different buses to get to work (I used to take only one). Today was my first time taking a Saturday route to work -- and it only involved taking two buses...but there was a catch: I had thought the bus would take me closer to my job than it actually did.

So I found myself a couple of miles from my job instead of about half a mile like I'd planned.

In Texas heat.

Yay.

The only good part was that it was still early morning (around 9:15 am). I made good time, walking fast. I still was sweating pretty hard...but I made it in less than half an hour, so I was happy.

Next time, I'll pick a route that gets me a little closer. Really.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)



NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun! You won't find these tidbits in news stories, no sirree!

This week's NITNF: Today we "trivialize" another well-known mixed-race actor -- Keanu Reeves!

Prior to his appearance in A Scanner Darkly, you may know him from The Matrix trilogy of movies.



You know him from Speed



Some of you may even remember him from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure



But did you know that he loves ballroom dancing?

He also once had a job sharpening ice skates.

Personal Quote from Keanu:
When told, "You'll just have to bite the bullet", his reply was, "Yes, but I don't have to eat the whole rifle."

Quick Moving Update



Okay, so we have essentially moved in to the new apartment. There's still a few straggling items at the old place and a lot of cleaning up to do, but a good 80% to 90% was able to be moved on Monday and Tuesday (the majority of it -- *pant, wheeze* -- on Monday!)

The kids have been adapting reasonably well. They've liked being able to help move stuff and bring stuff up to the apartment and they seem to like their new room already. My youngest son, Josey, in his most optimistic tone, proceeded to explain the comparisons between how many bedrooms and bathrooms the duplex had as well as the living room and dining room -- so the places really were similar after all (now imagine it explained about twice as complex as that)...with a smile on his face. It was very cute.

The basic utilities were already on when we moved in. We got cable, internet and phone on yesterday (advantages of working for the company that supplies those services). I was finally able to get my George Foreman Grill over last night. For some reason, I had an innate fear that I would drop it in the move, so I was very, very careful with it. Ah, a "chef" and his grill...

The only stubborn point for me has been the washer/dryer connections. My friends who helped me move all the furniture on Monday also moved the Washer and the Dryer. Unfortunately, we did not get a chance to hook them up. I made an attempt in a condition of dehydrated, overheated exhaustion on Monday night and it was just laughable. Keep in mind, in Austin it got to 97 degrees F(ahrenheit) with a heat index of 102 degrees F. And of course, we moved things during the hottest part of the day (hey, it had to get done). Now that I have all my tools and my wits back about my head, I should be able to get it hooked up by tomorrow.

Yesterday wasn't much easier. I moved all of the computer equipment over by myself. Scarily, it was a vehicle load all by itself (who knew?). Although not as hard as hauling the washer and dryer up a steep flight of stairs, the cumulative effort of making 5 or 6 trips up those stairs in 90+ degree heat was still exhausting (and nerve wracking, I need all of that equipment).

But it does feel good to see all of us settling in and getting used to the new place.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Moving Day



We will be moving into an apartment next week. This will be our first move in 10 years, which is significant in many ways.

First of all, there are the positives. Considering that we've been renting one half of a duplex for 10 years, financially it makes more sense to put rent into an apartment. We'll actually be paying less money and have better maintenance. Also, the complex was recently renovated, so it is essentially a new place. It's near an elementary school that the boys can both go to and it's closer to Angel's job and still near mine, too. In the long run, we see this as a good time to get ready to (eventually) buy a house.

There are some negatives, of course. It will be smaller, so we'll have to be more creative with how we decorate and occupy the apartment. But even that is good in a way (did I mention I'm an optimist?). It'll force us to get rid of a lot of things we've probably been unnecessarily packratting.

I think it will be harder on the kids. My oldest son was only months old when we moved into the duplex and our youngest son was brought home from the hospital to this duplex. It's the only home they've ever known, so naturally, they're quite attached to it. I understand -- I'm a sentimental guy, too. We have a lot of memories in that house. I know we'll miss it.

But it's a necessary step for us and I think it will be for the best. Stability is always good but nothing is constant in life except change.

I came to realize some years ago that wherever your loved ones are, that's home.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday (NITNF)

NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun! You won't find these tidbits in news stories, no sirree!

This week's NITNF: Okay, so today's trivia does have a biracial tie-in! Yes, our focus today is Academy Award-winning actress Halle Berry!



Berry, who won the Oscar for her performance in Monster's Ball, has an acting career spanning back to 1989. Many were stellar performances...or at least positive ones.

You may remember her as Storm of the X-Men



You (like many of us) may have wondered about Catwoman...?



But did you know Halle Berry was in the 1997 comedy BAPS?



Oh, well, these things happen...

Have a great weekend!

Best Wishes,
Allen

One Drop (Rule) Is Wrong



The last time I blogged on this type of topic, I got a sharp criticism from an African-American reader who felt I wasn't qualified to speak on such things because I'm white. Nevermind how racist that in itself is, it is how some people feel. So let me preface this post by saying I am qualified to speak on the following topic because I am the father of two biracial children.

First, some historical background via Wikipedia:

The one-drop theory (or one-drop rule) is a historical colloquial term for the standard, found throughout the United States of America, that holds that a person with even a tiny portion of non-white ancestry ("one drop of non-white blood") should be classified as "colored", especially for the purposes of laws forbidding interracial marriage. It is an ethnocentric concept based on the idea of human hierarchy. This notion of invisible/intangible membership in a "racial" group has seldom been applied to people of Native American ancestry (see Race in the United States for details). The notion has also been applied to the idea of solely black ancestry.

By 1925, almost every state had a one-drop law on the books, or something equivalent. These were the laws that gave power to bureaucrats like Walter Plecker of Virginia [8], Naomi Drake of Louisiana [9], and similar people around the country — people whose mission was to hunt down any families of mixed ancestry and shove them to the Black side of the color line.

In 1967 the U.S. Supreme Court, in its ruling on the case of Loving v. Virginia, conclusively invalidated Plecker's Virginia Racial Integrity Act, along with its key component, the one-drop rule, as unconstitutional. Despite this holding, the one-drop theory is still influential in U.S. society. Multiracial individuals with visible mixed European and African and/or Native American ancestry are often still considered non-white unless they explicitly declare themselves white or Anglo, and are typically identified instead as mixed-race, mulatto or mestizo, or Black or American Indian, for example. By contrast these standards are widely rejected by America's Latino community, the majority of whom are of mixed ancestry, but for whom their Latino cultural heritage is more important to their ethnic identities than "race". The one-drop rule is not generally applied to Latinos of mixed origin or to Arab-Americans.

So, keeping this in mind, it is troubling to me that One Drop Rule is even around... It's a way of thinking whose time has gone the way of the dodo and the dinosaur. It needs to die.

And this is my opinion only, but I believe One Drop Rule is racist. Yes, racist ... because it states that one racial heritage is dominant over the other even within a mixed-race genetic makeup. One Drop encourages a biracial or multiracial individual to choose one racial heritage over the other and downplay or deny the other -- supposedly for the good of the individual or to help them "fit in." As a social context, it is particularly insidious because often shame is used to batter the biracial individual into submission of the group- or collective-inspired racism. Mob rules thinking. It is wrong and should be called out for the terribly misguided racism it is. No one race or culture is any better than any other.

Fortunately, my sons have not faced this pressure yet. Austin is a fairly diverse city and interracial marriages and families are common here but there is racism, too -- from all sides. Someday, they may be encouraged to think that they're only Black. It may be from friends or coworkers or anybody, really.

My job as their parent is to teach them to embrace all of who they are. It's not about being white or black or even Apache. It's about being you, whatever that means. And my job (and my wife's) is to answer their questions about where they come from. If they want to know about African-American or even African culture, we will teach them. If they want to know about Native Americans, we will do the same. If they wanted to know about my Dutch ancestors, same thing.

Life is too short and confusing enough to be distracted by "racial identity issues." Simply be who you are -- ALL of who you are. My boys do not think of themselves as any one race -- they know they are mixed. But more important than that, they know they are loved.

That's really all that matters...isn't it?

Best Wishes,
Allen

Worry-Free July 4th



Yesterday was a very nice, relaxing day. The whole family had the day off and we just stayed home and took it easy. I only went out once to buy ingredients for the spaghetti and meatball supper I cooked. I will admit it, it was a rainy day and we were lazy all day. I had the digital video recorder (DVR) recording the G4 Star Trek marathon while I played video games for a while on the computer. The kids enjoyed the Tom and Jerry marathon on Boomarang (but not all day for them, and not all day for me, either -- watching the tv for more than 90 minutes tends to do serious damage to one's IQ).

I did enjoy cooking. I haven't made meatballs in years. I used ground turkey meat for the meatballs this time, which was a first for me. I seasoned it with some steak seasonings (salt, garlic, onion, black pepper, red pepper) and worcheshire sauce and then cooked it in the skillet. Next time, I will add some chopped onion to the mix, though; it really helps with the texture. Anyway, I combined that with a couple of different spaghetti sauces from the store (sauteed onion and garlic and super chunky mushroom, both from Ragu) and some Barilla angel hair pasta -- and voila!

Even though I dearly love cooking on my George Foreman Grill, it was nice to cook something on the stove for once. Spaghetti itself is a no-brainer but the meat is what can take time. I usually just break up the ground beef (or turkey) and brown it, drain it and let it get seasoned by the sauce, but I wanted to do something different this time. I also wanted to see how the flavoring of the turkey meat would in turn flavor the sauce. (I really liked how it ended up adding a nice dash of the worcheshire taste to the sauce!)

Sometimes the greatest benefit of having freedom is to use it. But also, it's important to remember that those freedoms were attained at a high cost. We need to be grateful for our independence.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Is This Cool Or What?

Look -- Up In The Sky! It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's A -- Bunny??



Okay, sorry that it's off-topic but the 30-second bunny parody of the 1979 Superman movie is just amazingly accurate and funny! A must-see if you've ever seen the original...although I showed it to my kids and they got it, too. (I let my oldest son see the original Superman with me on cable tv last fall.) Family friendly and cute.

Happy July 4th in advance!

Best Wishes,
Allen

Not In The News Friday



Fridays should be fun -- and generally nonsensical -- so we at IR Haven are proud to introduce to you "NOT IN THE NEWS FRIDAY!" (NITNF)

NITNF will usually be a bit of trivia that I found interesting and thought you would like. It may be IR-related and it might not -- but should always be fun! You won't find these tidbits in news stories, no sirree!

This week's NITNF: Did you know that Michael Dorn, best known as Lt. Commander Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, actually had a regular role as Officer Jebediah Turner on the 1970's show CHiPs?



Earth-shattering, isn't it? Have a great weekend!

Best Wishes,
Allen

So Long, Asian Avenue Account

Don't worry, this isn't a post to diss Asian Avenue. Asian Avenue has undergone some major changes in the last year or two, though, and it's just not the same as it once was. That may work out great for some people; it just didn't work out for me.

In all fairness, though, Asian Avenue's features and website do look better than ever. But its main push seems to be towards dating and professional networking in the Asian American community.

So why did I join Asian Avenue? I got a free account with Asian Avenue when they started in 1999. I've always had an interest in Asian culture and community. So I joined to make friends and learn more about the community.

Initially, Asian Avenue was set up to help friends get to know one another and provided a free webpage and an asianavenue.com email address. I found it interesting because it encouraged people to be creative in making webpages and friends.

Asian Avenue also had a good referral system that gave reward points that could be accumulated and used to get real items, like ball caps and t-shirts, etc. A couple of years ago, Asian Avenue added a blogging feature, too...but it was too little, too late. I liked their job find feature even though I didn't need it.

Ironically, for me, it became more and more difficult to get to know people using Asian Avenue. I checked in on it less and less and would even forget about it (not a good sign). It was probably the big dating push that drove me away the most, though.

So I closed my Asian Avenue account today. C'est la vie.

Anyone else use Asian Avenue? What are your thoughts on it? Leave me a comment on this post. Thanks!

Best Wishes,
Allen

Romantic Memories, Episode One

The following is a true story from the Adventures of Allen and Angel.

Late May 1993. Angel and I were engaged at the time. She had passed basic training (U.S. Army) with flying colors and phoned me early in the morning to let me know she would be flying to Advanced Individual Training (AIT) in Arizona that day. She told me she'd be transferring through the Atlanta airport on Delta airlines and then the Dallas airport before going to Arizona. She also gave me the approximate flight times.

After I got off the phone, I was a bit sad because it would be some time before I'd see her (I'd wanted to go to her Basic graduation but it hadn't been possible). We had sent each other snail mail and had a few phone calls since March.

Then the craziest idea in the world entered my brain: somehow, I would meet her at the airport in Dallas!

I didn't have much time to plan. I called Delta airlines to find out her flight number based on the airport locations (including gates) and times. Then I had to determine when the flight would arrive in Dallas. I got that info, wrote it down and got in my car and started driving to the Austin airport.

As I drove, I thought "God, if you don't want this to happen, stop me now."

I got to the airport and purchased the first one-way flight to Dallas I could get. I would arrive at the Dallas airport with not too much time to spare. I literally had to run from one end of the airport to the other to find the right gate in time. I arrived shortly before that flight arrived.

Keep in mind, I had no idea whether this was the right flight or not. Even though the info seemed to match, it could have been another plane with different passengers!

I waited, nervous with anticipation yet also fearing a letdown if I'd miscalculated. Let's face it, this was a lot of money to spend if I was totally wrong.

The minutes passed. The plane arrived and passengers started exiting the plane. It seemed like an eternity, even though it was probably only 5 to 10 minutes.

And I finally saw her. My Angel. In military uniform.

She was the most beautiful sight in the world to me at that time (still is!).

In retrospect, it must have been quite a sight to others to see us together, though. Not merely an interracial couple but, at the time, I was wearing casual summer clothes (jeans and t-shirt) and had my hair past shoulder length. She was in standard military attire. And yet, there we were, a happy couple in love, delighted to see each other.

Actually, Angel looked like she'd seen a ghost when she saw me! It made it worth every penny I'd spent on my credit card. I had totally, utterly surprised her -- just as I'd hoped.

In the end, we got to spend a whopping 36 minutes together before she had to catch her connecting flight. Still, it was a total recharge to me. I hadn't seen her in nearly three months.

It was hard to leave her but I had my satisfaction. I'd accomplished my goal for the day. A total spur-of-the-moment act of utter lunacy -- and it'd paid off!

I purchased another one-way ticket back to Austin and had to zoom across Austin to make it to my (then) part-time job. I worked in happy exhaustion for the next 6 hours.

It was totally worth it.

This is the same woman I ended up marrying 11 years ago. The same woman whom I've had 2 sons with.

So, believe it or not, World -- LOVE lives!

13 years ago and it's still fresh in my memory.

I just thought I'd share it with you all.

Best Wishes,
Allen

IR Haven's First Renter: Just Jill!



Go check out her blog. It's festive, clean and a good read.

Best Wishes,
Allen

The Sad State of Interracial Blogs

I was curious about the state of interracial blogs in the blogosphere, so of course, I tried to Google the term. Geez, was that a mistake! I couldn't even attempt to click on any of the links because they were all porn, all the time.

That was disappointing.

I know there are blogs from interracial couples and families and biracial/multiracial people but they are few and far between. I have recently spent some time cruising Blog Explosion and while there's a wealth of political and personal blogs, religious and anti-religious blogs, sports and financial blogs, there just aren't too many interracial blogs.

So we earn our name a little longer: Interrace Haven. We still discuss topics from the point of view of someone in an interracial marriage with biracial kids. Sometimes "slice-of-life," sometimes comedy, sometimes serious and sometimes spiritual, but one way or the other, it's IR Haven, all the time.

If you know of some good IR blogs out there, I'd love to check them out! Send me link suggestions HERE!

Best Wishes,
Allen

A Note From The Makers Of Colourz Magazine:

"We here, at Colourz magazine, would love to hear your stories and comments on how being bi-racial has affected you. The mission of Colourz is to open a gateway of communication among all people. Colourz will confront and help combat, in an informative and educational way, the obstacles many people face due to their mixed heritage, ethnicity, prejudices of others and prejudices within themselves. Colourz is the magazine for anyone who is or has known a person who is mixed, mulatto, half & half, part this or part that. There are no limitations. Colourz is for you. Please respond to colourzreaders@yahoo.com

"We are looking forward to hearing from you!"

Tomorrow Is Father's Day

Few things make me as proud and satisfied as being a dad. I'm proud of my family. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to (someday) get married and have kids. It was a very strong feeling, a driving force -- and quite frankly, sometimes it didn't make sense.

I mean, it's a perfectly normal goal to have, don't get me wrong -- but I wonder how that notion gets planted in a 10-year old or a 14-year old or an 18-year old kid? You would think that all that would be on your mind would be playing with your friends or tv shows or sports as driving influences. And for the most part, those were my influences (except for sports -- me, other kids and sports didn't get along, but that's another blog entry).

I was a total introvertive comic book creator (as a hobby, never for profit), comic book fan, and my folks had bought me a video game system (anybody old enough to remember Colecovision?) by age 10. Still, somewhere near the surface of my heart was this need for a wife and a family of my own.

Even in my dark, angst-filled teen years, I still envisioned a future where I'd get married and have kids.

Elements of marriage and family were present in all my creative projects from that period in my life, whether the superhero comics or music (between the ages of 18 and 20, I recorded an album titled "Dreams & Wishes" where the title song's lyrics speak of my longing for real love. The basic last line is "You are my dreams and wishes").

Inevitably, when I dated, I would ask the young women what they thought about marriage and kids. Although I did have at least one girlfriend who wasn't interested in either, most considered it to one degree or another. It was always important to me, even though I did not get engaged to anyone until Angel proposed to me.

Angel says I "serenaded" her for children, and I did (not literally, but with my actions and through our conversations). Having found the woman of my "dreams and wishes," I had an unexplainable urgency to have a child with her...and we did. We were married on March 18, 1995 and our first child was born on October 8, 1995 (and no, we hadn't become Christians yet, although Angel give her life to Christ 2 weeks before our son, Adam, was born).

A couple of years later, Angel told me she wanted to have another child, a sibling for Adam. It really didn't take any effort to convince me. Josey was born on October 6, 1998.

Now my boys are school age (10 and 7, respectively) and have their own distinct personalities, quirks, strengths and weaknesses. I love them both equally and I'm very happy to say they show their love for me and Angel every day. They are both loving and caring boys, each in their own special way. They are both amazingly intelligent and healthy and creative. They're also handsome and charming and witty.

I love them more and more each day, just as I love my wife more each day. It may sound like a Hallmark(tm) greeting card but it's the truth. I couldn't ask for a better family.

People often ask me and Angel whether or not we want to "try for a girl." The truth is, we are satisifed. If it's God's will that we have a daughter (or even another son), then we'll accept that and be thankful and adapt as necessary.

But for right now, we're a good family. We're the family I always wanted.

Dreams do come true sometimes.

Best Wishes,
Allen

A Summer Errand With My Boys



So, Monday I had a day off and the boys are home for summer and Angel's working. There were errands to run, so the boys and I went together. Following a little incident over the weekend with the van in which the ignition switch broke, a friend of ours was gracious enough to fix it (for free) but our keys were damaged and needed to be copied and replaced.

Our first stop was a key shop. And what a stop. The boys had never seen a huge safe before, much less half a dozen of them side by side.

And then there was The Grackle.

Yes, the employees of this key shop had a pet grackle. I kid you not. It was pretty small and was riding the shoulder of one of the employees. And that bird NEVER ... STOPPED ... TALKING. It was a total chatterbox! I don't think it would have been such a weird thing (and keep in mind, I live in Austin, the city that spawned the slogan "Keep Austin Weird") if it hadn't been in a place of business!

Another of the employees held out his finger and the grackle flew right over and perched on his finger then he put the bird on his shoulder (as the bird continued its conversation). He gave it some bird seed and the thing kept a muffled squawking as it ate. The boys and I were both amused and annoyed simultaneously...

We were only in the key shop maybe 10 minutes but there was no getting bored. We had the grackle...

...or did the grackle have us? (Dramatic music)

Your Stories: Help IR Haven Generate Content



I have been wanting to add more IR-centric content to the blog recently, so this afternoon, I had an idea.

I'd like you to send me your IR stories and I will post them as blog entries, one per day. They don't have to be long or works of art, although I think they will be beautiful in their own way.

I'd like couples' stories (how you met, what your ethnicities are, how long you've been together, how many kids, etc.) and individuals stories (life as a biracial or multiracial person, how it has shaped your insights, your world view, etc.).

A couple of suggestions: Just use first names. Keep the language family-friendly.

E-mail your stories to me HERE!

I'll start posting them as soon as I receive them. Thanks in advance!

Best Wishes,
Allen

Hold The Phone...

We finally decided to stop using a pager and start using a cell phone.

I know, I know -- "Allen, my goodness! You decided to join the 21st century!"

Yeah, yeah...

A lot of things led to it, not least of which was our last couple of wedding anniversary travels, where a cell phone really would have come in handy (in the mountains of Pennsylvania en route to a wonderful resort that we could not find for the life of us -- or in the middle of the hill country with no phones, lovely as it was).

Also, it just seems that if you're stuck in traffic or have a flat tire or you just need to relay some information, there's no reason not to have a cell phone.

And, is it just me, or is it quicker and easier to get approved and pay for a cell phone than it is to order fast food? I was amazed. Granted, I picked a good time and provider -- on Memorial Day -- and the guy working there told me I was his only customer of the day thus far, so I got some good deals...

...but then there was the "DUH" moment.

We got our first error message on the phone about 3 hours after I got it home. It said "SIM card rejected" on it's little screen. So I removed the back panel, the lithium ion battery and gently took out the SIM card and reinserted it into its little slot.

And then the phone wouldn't turn back on.

That was a bummer.

The next day, I went right back up to the cell phone place and asked what the deal was. To this, the man who had sold me the phone and the monthly plan said those five condemning words (in a reassuring Indian accent) -- words that strike fear and dread into a techno geek such as myself:

"This is the 'ON' button."

(Hangs head in abject shame.)

I'd accidentally pressed the on/off button and turned the phone off while getting the back cover off of the phone to reposition the SIM card.

"Wile E. Coyote....genius." (*shakes off the memory*)

The cell phone has worked well since then.

This Time Of Year...



Inevitably, May is a strange month for me every year. May is when Summer really starts in Texas, Mother's Day is celebrated, school ends for my sons and it's the anniversary of my Dad's birth (05-25-41) and death (05-20-97).

The only thing that kind of troubles me each year is that I don't really notice the dates until it's almost (or past) the anniversary of his birthday. It's certainly not that I don't care. I care a great deal. It just seems to sneak up on me...and I feel bad that it gets to that point.

I visited my Dad's grave about a month ago with my Mom. I don't mind visiting it, don't mind remembering. I have a lot of good memories of my Dad. When I was a boy, he taught me how to play basketball, football and baseball. And though it was trying at times, he helped me with my homework.

When I was 12 and had to have very serious surgery, he helped me to understand what was going to happen and reassured me that everything would be okay. He helped me every day during my recovery and felt so guilty at the suffering I went through during my hospital stay that it troubled him the rest of his life. He told me that on his deathbed. I had to reassure him it was something I had long gotten over and he didn't have to live with that guilt anymore. He was just that sensitive and caring a Dad. He would have taken those pains for me if he could have.

To prepare for "real life," Dad helped me to get my first bank account, then he taught me how to save money to get my first bass guitar and amplifier. He encouraged me to get a job and save for a high school journalism trip to New York City when I was only 17 (and I did!). He taught me how to drive (at the expense of his nerves) and taught me how to cook.

Even more importantly, he taught me how a man will work and sacrifice as necessary to provide for his family. Dad was a good example of how to be a caring father and faithful husband and provider for our family.

Occasionally, I will have a dream with Dad in it, at least once or twice a year. It's always been pleasant dreams, never nightmares (thankfully). Dad is always how I remember him: healthy and at his best, physically, the way he looked before the cancer so damaged his body. I guess that's normal. He almost always appears with Mom, too. Maybe that's my subconscious registering the depth of their love, I don't know...

Father's Day is coming up in June. I'm extremely proud to be a dad to two wonderful sons (they call me Papa). I know I owe a lot of my enthusiasm for my boys to the love my Dad had for me.

I do miss my Dad from time to time. I think about him and remember different things we did together or went through together. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I could see him again. That's probably what leads to my dreams.

But I have become something of a realist in these last couple of years. I know life goes on. I'm not distraught that Dad died. I had my opportunity to get to know him, to be his friend as well as his son. I got the chance to heal any old wounds between us and I got to say goodbye.

I couldn't ask for much more than that.

Best Wishes,
Allen

Yes, I Still Post Here...

It's been a while, true, but I do. I've been going through a few things...but I'm okay! In fact, I've even got a new gadget to talk about.

After the untimely demise of my second Handspring Visor (the one I bought off of eBay) this week, so I decided to get a brand new Palm PDA. I researched it online and determined that the Palm Zire Z-22 was the best for me, both in functionality and price.

It uses the latest version of the Palm Operating System, which still has all the main functions that the old 3.0 version my Handspring used -- just prettier. It has more memory (32MB, my Handspring had 8MB) and -- gasp -- color! It's a smaller, very sleek design, has a rechargable battery and AC adapter and syncs up through a USB cable. For $99, it's a great deal!

I also bought its Air Case (see-through hard plastic) to keep it safe. A good investment for only $14.99.

I'll update again when I have another solid subject to discuss.

Best Wishes,
Allen